The Knighting

A (with a pool noodle): I dub thee Sir David. 

M (hits A with noodle): I dub...

A: No, the king doesn't hit the knight. Or he'd chop off his arm or head. It's a sharp sword. So, he taps lightly. (Demonstrates.) I dub thee Sir David.

M (gently): I dub thee Sir Mommy!!

Phone Etiquette

Monkey (on pretend phone): Heyyo! Heyyoo!

A: Hi. What are you doing today?

M: Good!

A: No, that's "how." I said, "WHAT are you doing today?"

M: GOOD!

A: No, no. WHAT are you DOING today?

M: How!!

A: Me redskin?

M: Watching movie?

A: Haha! You're so silly!

Run, Forrest, Run!

LadyBug ran into my room: "I need to run as fast as I can!"

Why?

"Because I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Ah.

The Penny People

Monkey (not quite four yet) just informed me that, "Penny people have no legs." And in case you don't speak toddler, what he means is, "the people on coins are just heads, no legs." 

Someone got into Daddy's change pile this morning.

Words of advice

Little Frog encouraging her siblings to pick up the messy bedroom: Be strong. Be beautiful. Be wise. Do the motions with me. Be strong. Be beautiful. Be wise. 

Collector

I picked up a pair of Monkey's dirty pants that he left on the couch, intending to just throw them in the dirty clothes. But they rattled. So I began emptying his pockets.

Lego pieces

Barbie accessories

Game pieces

Stamps

Beads

Connector to glow-in-the-dark bracelet

Dried up playdoh

Car

Change

The size indicator for a plastic hanger

I believe the next stage of boyhood (the one where they bring all kinds of things home in their pockets) has begun.

On Shaving

LadyBug: Daddy, why do you have a beard?

K: Well, hair just grows on my face. And Mommy likes it.

LB: Oh. Grammy must like Grandad bald, then.