The Knighting

A (with a pool noodle): I dub thee Sir David. 

M (hits A with noodle): I dub...

A: No, the king doesn't hit the knight. Or he'd chop off his arm or head. It's a sharp sword. So, he taps lightly. (Demonstrates.) I dub thee Sir David.

M (gently): I dub thee Sir Mommy!!

Phone Etiquette

Monkey (on pretend phone): Heyyo! Heyyoo!

A: Hi. What are you doing today?

M: Good!

A: No, that's "how." I said, "WHAT are you doing today?"

M: GOOD!

A: No, no. WHAT are you DOING today?

M: How!!

A: Me redskin?

M: Watching movie?

A: Haha! You're so silly!

The Penny People

Monkey (not quite four yet) just informed me that, "Penny people have no legs." And in case you don't speak toddler, what he means is, "the people on coins are just heads, no legs." 

Someone got into Daddy's change pile this morning.

Collector

I picked up a pair of Monkey's dirty pants that he left on the couch, intending to just throw them in the dirty clothes. But they rattled. So I began emptying his pockets.

Lego pieces

Barbie accessories

Game pieces

Stamps

Beads

Connector to glow-in-the-dark bracelet

Dried up playdoh

Car

Change

The size indicator for a plastic hanger

I believe the next stage of boyhood (the one where they bring all kinds of things home in their pockets) has begun.

LPGA 2016

Keith was given a week-long pass from one of our friends who works the LPGA Tour when it comes to Northwest Arkansas. He was able to take each of the kids for a day to play in the KidZone and watch some incredible women golfers. 

Frog spent the most time, following Daddy (and Stacey Lewis) all over the course. LadyBug had a lot of fun in the KidZone playing. Monkey enjoyed the ice cream afterwards the most. 

Introducing: Little Turtle!

The kids finally got to meet their first cousin, Little Turtle for the first time yesterday. They all declared her "good." And then LadyBug carried around her baby doll, renamed after her cousin, for the rest of the day.

Lego Destructions

Anyone who knows the Wigginses will not be shocked by the fact that Keith likes to follow the instructions to build what those pieces were intended to build. While Adriel likes to use her imagination and build something new. 

So watching our kids play with their first Lego sets (yeah, yeah, I know. They should have had Legos ages ago) is very interesting. Frog says, "Where are the destructions? I need the destructions!" LadyBug says, "No, we can figure it out." And Monkey just starts putting things together in whichever way he wants. This is a perfect summation of their personalities. 

Sharing is Caring

LadyBug and Monkey are taking turns picking what they watch. 

LadyBug: It's your turn.

Monkey: What you want?

LadyBug: What do I want? No, it's your turn. 

Monkey: Me know. But what you want?

They melt my heart when they're like this. 

Where you toy?

Grammy decided to treat us to lunch. Kids' meals.

Monkey: Where you toy, Mommy?

A: I don't have one. 

Monkey: What?!

A: Adults don't get toys in our meals.

Monkey: But me got bird! (Angry Birds)

A: Yes, but adult meals only have food, not toys in them.

Monkey: Oooh! Dat sad.

Mail Slots

Monkey is investigating how this mail slot works. He's never seen one before, so it's funny watching him evaluate it. 

AWANA Awards

This year, Monkey was in Cubbies.

LadyBug was in Sparks.

And Frog completed Sparks, so she'll be in TNT next year. 

Another successful year of AWANA under our belt!

Mixed Up

My kids... ::facepalm:: They got their clothes piles mixed up this morning. Frog (size 10) put on LadyBug's pants and shirt. LadyBug (size 6-7) put on Monkey's pants and Frog's shirt. Monkey (size 5) put on Frog's shorts and his shirt. Frog's shorts looked like saggy pants on him. The girls both had high waters.

And they were dead serious. I had to tell them they were all in the wrong size.

Zoo Tornado

The kids are playing a game wherein a tornado hit a zoo and scattered the animals all over the place. They're returning all of the animals to their cages. The most common animals are the dirty clothes animals. But the shoe animals seems to have multiplied during the tornado. While the book animals and toy animals seem to have all been killed or have run away. 

Really, I don't care what game they make up to clean their room as long as it gets cleaned. But this may be the oddest clean up game ever. 

Sense of Humor

Like all kids, mine attempt "Why did the chicken cross the road" jokes without really understanding how jokes work. This morning's round of jokes produced a lot of illogical and unfunny nonsense. But one bit of illogical funny nonsense came from Monkey:

Why did the horse jump on the roof?

Because I wanted to eat him.

To hear a three year old with a speech impediment talk about a horse jumping on the roof is probably the most surreal experience ever. His joke wasn't all that funny. After all, what three year old talks about eating horses? But his presentation was hilarious. 

Adventures with my ColorBlind Family

Minnie Mouse: This bow is a mood bow. It changes colors for what mood you're in.

Daisy: Ooh! Let me try! Donald, do something to make me mad...What color is the bow?

LadyBug and Monkey together: Red!

Daisy: Right! Red. Donald, do something to make me sad...What color is the bow now?

LadyBug and Monkey together: Purple!

Daisy: Right! Blue! Donald, do something to make me happy!

I couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes. 

Family date: Arkadia

Daddy taught the kids how to play Battleship. Mommy taught them how to play Scrabble. 

Semantics

Monkey: Mommy, help me?

A: Aren't these the shorts you wore yesterday?

M: Yes.

A: Get clean shorts. And underwear.

M (crying): No!

A (laughs): You need to wear clean clothes every day. No just school days.

M: But me no want to! No laugh me!

A (laughs harder): But you're so cute!

M (cries harder): Me no cute!

A: Then what are you?

M: Me handsome!

A (can't breathe from laughing): O...K...

M (yells in frustration): Not funny! Me handsome!

Clearly we're starting the day off sync. 

Instructions on the Plague

Monkey: (as he's jumping on me) You really sick?

A: Yes.

LM: Why?

A: Because you caught the stomach bug from Daycare and brought it home to me.

LM: Oh. ...Sorry.

Secret Identities

Monkey: Who dat?

A: Mr. Freeze.

Frog: No! Frozone!

A: *face palm** I cannot geek properly without Spark.

Adventures of Speech Impediment

Today, Monkey and I were in Hobby Lobby when someone was called over the intercom to the frame shop. So he decided to say, "Frame shop." I showed him how to enunciate it. He practiced a few times. He even got it perfectly when we separated the two words. But then he put them together again. "Shame fop" was the results. Which pretty much just made me laugh and laugh. Everyone else in the checkout line just grinned at him.